Crux and Crucible


Forged in the fire….

molten metal

we all who fall short.

Then he said to me, “fear not, Daniel, for from the first day that you set your heart to understand and humbled yourself before God, your words have been heard.”  Daniel 10:12

And it’s painful,

hammer and anvil

this molding.

And we protest, “I can’t do this!”, arguing with the Almighty as if we have even the remotest possibility of winning the argument, anguished protests in the crucible.

And we fight, and wrestle, the cacophony of our rants casting an eerie caricature of the enemy upon the inner chambers of our hearts.  In the light of His Holy presence it mocks our insecurity, looming large…

or seeming to.

Silent screams deafen us to what we most need to hear,

and what He most longs to say, from within…


the greatest intensity.

“Peace be with you; do not fear, you shall not die,” Judges 6:23;

even though it feels as if every breath taken will be our last.


warmth1yielding to more,

to more and to greater.


And “good tidings of great joy…” Luke 2:10.

Because when all is said and done…

when all is purged and all is forged…

we find more than gold.

Christ child

After all, isn’t that the crux of the matter?

Where Gold is Refined

“Surely there is a mine for silver, and a place where gold is refined.”                                                                           Job 28:1

So I’m still waiting for what I borrowed from a 401k,

to pay bills,

and rent;

waiting2and time moves forward, speedily and right in step with drying paint and growing grass.  And so

I’m waiting still and still going

and really, really frustrated with the whole process!

It took seven days to receive the application, 30 minutes to complete and drive to a local office for same day processing, followed by a phone call six days later requesting a missing signature and a “24-48 hour” promised turn-around, an $11 refaxing of the entire application, and a second phone call six days and 144 hours later.

This time I heard, “the banking information is incomplete”, this despite the voided check included in my application and then, following a repeat of my routing and account numbers, “two days expedited mail”, they said, “you could conceivably get it Wednesday”, followed by, “there’s no guarantee.”

One of these days, I really would like to follow ‘going’ with ‘strong’; but for now it’s just, well…


So I wait, still and trust some more.

Perhaps even this

discrepancy and disconnect, the place between the words of my mouth and the works of my hands, where pretense spills out, as body contents through an incision whose edges remain separated after surgery, can be used for my good and His Glory.

God is Sovereign and His timing is always, not just sometimes, not just occasionally, but always and forever perfect!

And so as August lies down and September rises, I remember and rest in the refining!