The Whole Point,

And nothing but the point…

Did I hear you wrong God?
     The signs were all there,
          The doors were all opened,
               And I walked right through.

Before I got here, I really thought I’d screwed up
     That I’d given the wrong answers, the wrong impression, lost an important opportunity.

I told you I couldn’t do this, that it was too much, that you’d have to show me, give me a sign.

I told you not to bring me here unless you went with me. I was desperate to succeed…for once,
     Desperate to not fail…again.

And two hours later,
     A request to interview
          A second time.

I pleaded with you, pleaded like Moses with his stuttered speech
     And my quivering insecurity, to send another, one more qualified,
          One more capable,
               One more sure and steady and confident.

I thought…
     I’d blown it for sure this time,
          Like so many other times on that Thursday before Christmas when I’d been out of work since mid November,
with bills to pay,
     and gifts to purchase.
With a mountain looming large
     And no way over, or under or through.
          And a decision that would wait until
               well after “Auld Lang Syne” would fall silent,
                    Like the night.

But I was wrong.
     And the phone call came
          and I got the job
               three days before your birthday,

image

Three days before “Oh Holy Night” and Christmas morning.

So now I’m here;

     And now I hear,
         
          “What do you believe?”

And in my spirit I respond, “You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God! My Lord and My God!”

And then I hear, “If you believe I am who I say that I am, how is it that you doubt My ability in this place, at this time, for this task?”

And then I hear, “Have you forgotten…
   
     that your life is hidden?

          Have you forgotten that it is in Me,

               where you reside? In the shadow of My wings? Sheltered under My Pavillion?

I see you’ve forgotten

     to trust.

          And this, you see,

                Is precisely why

                     you’re here!