A scratching outside my window woke me up at 3:07 this morning and I lay in the dark anticipating a new kind of fresh air…
of the skunk variety.
It’s happened before with all the subtlety of a slamming door yanking me from a sweet slumber and sweet dreams.
So I got up and closed the window and retrieved my pillow to lay down in another room. Quieter there, but still awake. Thirty minutes and one “light bulb” moment later, I returned to my room and flipped the switch.
Perhaps the critter was only the tool
not the One holding it.
Sometimes I can be, well, so dense!
Do not be wise in your own eyes . Fear the Lord and depart from evil. Proverbs 3:7
Okay God, is this confirmation of my sin
or warning against it?
My not so common sense is it’s both.
Case in point and long story short: three weeks ago I met with two friends and former colleagues at a Panera Bread over coffee for the purpose of discussing employment opportunities with a pair of Christian businessmen, one a Pastor, one a Deacon. Things went well and I was asked to prepare a proposal for part time consulting services.
Fast forward to yesterday’s discussion of services and pay rate. All was “well” until I heard…
“…the average rate of pay for an RN is about $28 per hour.”
And they were offering to this someone who, I’ll have you know, is a well-seasoned and Master’s prepared professional, less; MUCH less!
My internal auto-pilot flipped into high gear, thrusting me once more into a battle I thought I’d won; fair versus unfair, disappointment versus thanksgiving, anxiety versus trust, pride versus humility;
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. Romans 12:2
I accepted the work realizing this is a start up company. Starts are always at the bottom, or at least they should be.
And I’m, hmm hmm, a start up consultant.
The onslaught continues and I’m smack dab in the center, my pride assaulted on every side. But then again,
that’s THE point, isn’t it?
Here’s part of this morning’s journal entry:
“My perspective on life in general has changed dramatically over the last six weeks; the perspective on my life, even more. I truly am…
far smaller than I once thought, loved far more intensely than I once thought.
And God is so much bigger than any of us!