Tuesday’s alarm sounded at 5 like every other morning, and like every other morning I pressed snooze for fifteen more minutes. At second bell, I tapped again and lay on my back for a view of the ceiling.
Burning tears replaced a burning lack of sleep. “I don’t know what to do!” I cried in a whispered panic then rolled onto my right side with a fetal plea, sobbing. Short-lived yet intense, I relaxed then and knew what to do, go to sleep.
That’s exactly what I did, for two more hours.
Quite a lot like a discouraged Elijah, I slept…
And he prayed that he might die, and said “It is enough! Now, Lord, take my life”…Then he lay down under the tree and fell asleep.
1 Kings 19:4, 5a
and awakened later, having received what I needed most.
Right now I’m in a wilderness, weary and wandering and longing for home. The landscape is wide-open, the terrain rugged, harsh and I struggle to keep my bearings.
I’ve never been one to appreciate deserts, but every day I am learning that even deserts, or at least parts of them can be, well…
I’m getting tired. One can only walk so far.
And I wonder, how long?
But then it occurs to me…
isn’t this where manna was given?
And he who gathered,
gathered just enough.
Maybe the key is in the gathering.
And when I look back I will find that I’ve gathered
just enough strength, just enough courage, just enough wisdom
and just enough of everything I need.